1) You can use this.gridGroupingControl1.GetTableModel and this.gridGroupingControl1.GetTableControl to get the child tables.
2) You can explicitly add the columns to the TabelDescriptor.VisibleCOlumn collection to control the order. Or, in the ITypedList.GetProperties method, you can change order of the property descriptors in the returned collection.
3) TableDescriptor.Columns[name].Appearance.AnyRecordFieldCell.Format = "YYYMMDD";
4) To hide the plus/minus, see
http://www.syncfusion.com/Support/Forums/message.aspx?MessageID=30438
To draw something else, you can try using the TableControlDrawCellButton and draw what you want.
private void gridGroupingControl1_TableControlDrawCellButton(object sender, GridTableControlDrawCellButtonEventArgs e)
{
GridTableCellStyleInfo style = e.Inner.Style as GridTableCellStyleInfo;;
if(style.TableCellIdentity.TableCellType == GridTableCellType.RecordPlusMinusCell
||style.TableCellIdentity.TableCellType == GridTableCellType.GroupCaptionPlusMinusCell)
{
ControlPaint.DrawButton(e.Inner.Graphics, e.Inner.Button.Bounds, ButtonState.Normal);
e.Inner.Cancel = true;
}
}