Try setting the AlphaBlendSelectionColor to Color.FromArgb(1,0,0,0).
Then handle PrepareViewStyleInfo and if e.RowIndex and e.ColIndex point to a selected cell, set e.Style.BackColor to the specific color you want.
//say in formload, use this to make the grid''s selection color not affect anything
this.gridControl1.AlphaBlendSelectionColor = Color.FromArgb(1,0,0,0);
//then handle this event to specify the backcolor of any selected cell.
private void gridControl1_PrepareViewStyleInfo(object sender, GridPrepareViewStyleInfoEventArgs e)
{
if(this.gridControl1.Selections.Ranges.AnyRangeContains(GridRangeInfo.Cell(e.RowIndex, e.ColIndex))
&& !this.gridControl1.CurrentCell.IsEditing)
e.Style.BackColor = mySelectionColor;
}