I am not sure what you are describing.
Is it that you have a second grid on tab 2, and you want the selected row in that grid to match the grid on tab 1? If so, you can handle the tabcontrol SelectedIndexChanged event, and explicitly set the current cell on the second grid based on the settings from the first grid. Here is a
little sample.
Or, is it that there is only 1 grid, and it is resetting the selected row when you change tabs. This is not normal behavior. In the sample above, the first grid does not reset when you click on tab 2 or tab 3. Are you doing any kind of sorting or updating as you leave the first grid? If so, this might be what is causing the reset. In that case, you would have to save the current cell before doing the action that resets it, and then set it back after the action.