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As your SfDataGrid doesn't support sizing the column widths using the asterisk syntax, there should be a ColumnSizer value called Proportional (for example) that computate the column widths based on a StarRatio property that should be present on the DataGrid's columns.
This aligns with what you show on
https://help.syncfusion.com/wpf/datagrid/autosize-columns#star-column-sizer-ratio-support
but that's a very artificial solution that should be implemented in the component, as it's a very common way of distributing the columns on a DataGrid.
Please, consider adding this kind of column distribution as an available option in your SfDataGrid without any hastles and complications as is now.